Disclaimer: The characters and situations of 'Farscape' depicted in this story are legal property of Rockne S. O'Bannon, Brian Henson, Jim Henson Corp., Hallmark Entertainment, Nine Networks, The SciFi Channel, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement intended.

R-rated: for sexual and brutal situations and language.

Author's Note: Minor spoilers for LATP 1-3, The Locket and MAJOR spoiler for season 2 finale Please note that this is just a possible season two finale as I envisioned it - I do not have any secret inside scoop nor am affiliated in any way to the production, staff or writers of the series, I just let my imagination run wild when the first spoilers appeared on the net.
Many great thanks to Nerys and Linda Chica, you both did a wonderful job for beta'ing chapter one and two respectively :)
Special thanks go to Jackie for bearing with me on this rather painful birth on writing this chapter - you are great, buddy, thank you for the beta of chapters 3 to 5 :)
Additional author's note: I want to apologise that this fic took so long to finish up, but in November when I wrote the first draft of it, I thought I was going to finish it real quick - then the BBC showed the original season two finale and I thought 'oh no I can't top that', and let it rest even with only three scenes missing from it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)
Comments are welcome at


Una Geiger (formerly Fritz)

Chapter One - Binaries

Aeryn Sun walked through the deserted corridors of Moya in what passed as night on the huge leviathan, a silent sentry guarding the sleep of her crew mates. She could not sleep and had been restless ever since she and D'Argo had rescued John from becoming a reigning statue.

Over the last weekens and monens, she had berated herself over and over again for her behaviour. The last microts before and after his rescue were branded in her mind. The urgency and desperation of those moments had left her full of excitement and despair. She knew that Crichton had a life of his own and likewise, that he had a sex life of his own. Women fell for him easily and frequently, that alien stranger in Sebacean guise, that much was true. Even she, Aeryn, had felt the urge to be near him, feel him, touch him ... but ever since they had met Gilina on the Zelbinion, ever since she had seen with her own eyes the kiss Gilina received that SHE had wanted and craved, had kept those feelings in check. Of course, she was only that much of a Sebacean not to succumb to his charms - and she had numerous times - despite everything she had held dear in her former life.

She did not know what had made her do the things she had done. She didn't even know why she felt the way she did for John.
John ... it always came back to one simple word, one simple human being, as he called himself.

John, the name echoed in her mind and for several microts, she closed her eyes and steadied herself against one of Moya's beams. When exactly had she begun to refer to him by his first name when alone? she asked herself. And why did she insist on calling him Crichton when they were together?

She had to do something, she had to fight all those uncertain and never-encountered feelings that were sending her into a turmoil of emotions. Peacekeepers used sex as a release for stress, she knew that and she had more than once dwelled in that standard procedure within Peacekeeper units. She had had sex with a lot of her comrades, short, meaning-less encounters, forgotten in less time than it took for the actual act itself.

But this time, she felt differently. When she had offered him the genetic compatibility potion, she had been sure that he would refuse. After all, he had left two women and Hezmana only knew how many offspring down on the planet, but he had not. John had taken the vial and had put a drop of the substance into her mouth and then ... John's lips on hers, his breath fanning her heated skin, his deep, almost desperate kiss, had changed all that. Then the sweetness in her mouth ... the honey-like taste - and the knowing John was compatible with her, something she had known right from the start.
Somewhere deep inside of herself, a place which John had once called the soul, was awakening and quivering like a newly born leviathan and it scared the frell out of her. She had to stop it. She could not be hindered and confused by something she could not determine. Over the last two cycles John had created in her more and more confusion, revealing sides of her personality that she'd never had guessed were present, that hit her with the full force of a charging Chentiige bear.

"It was the heat of the moment," she reminded herself in a whisper but she knew only too well that her words were a lie. See where this all has led you, Aeryn Sun, she thought to herself. Once a proud member of the Pleisar Regiment, now you've stooped to lying to yourself.

Even though John refuses to acknowledge that our night on the false Earth was real, that I was real, I know what happened, Aeryn thought and she hugged herself. I can still hear the rain and our heartbeats beating as one ...

Aeryn shook her head and continued her sentry for the night. When she came to Pilot's chamber, the main chamber of Moya, Pilot looked up and something like a fleeting smile lighted his face.

"Good evening, Officer Sun," he said, while his hands moved over the control panels.

Aeryn nodded to Pilot and like so many nights before squatted beside the nest and watched Pilot in silence. Moya's symbiote had grown accustomed to the former Peacekeeper's frequent nocturnal visits though he was not sure what that had brought upon him. The humming of Moya decreased slightly as if the leviathan wanted to tell Pilot to just be there, to listen to Aeryn Sun like he did to Moya.
Pilot turned around when he noticed that Aeryn Sun was watching him.

"Is anything the matter, Officer Sun?" he asked in that very educated, refined voice of his. Aeryn wanted to shake her head but stopped in mid-motion.

"Pilot, have you ever done something that you could not describe or analyse?" she asked suddenly.

Pilot was surprised but hid his amazement well. He pondered her question, not knowing what to reply to her simple request.

"I don't know, Officer Sun," he replied, hesitation in his voice.

Aeryn nodded in response. If she didn't know the answer to her question how should Pilot know.

"I think... it has been a foolish thing to do ... staying onboard Moya ..." she said slowly, and that got Pilot's complete attention.

"But weren't you irreversably contaminated by Commander Crichton and the others? Does that not mean, by Peacekeeper standards, immediate extermination?"

"Yes, Pilot, it means just that. But I don't know if dying a Peacekeeper isn't better than living as an Ex Peacekeeper. When I still wore the chip of my regiment, I was a Peacekeeper, it was my duty to fight, to kill and die the Peacekeeper way. Now, I do not know what else I can do. I ... am not a Peacekeeper anymore ... and my duty ..."

"Is to stay alive, Aeryn Sun. As it is for all of us. You are very important to Moya and the others. You are an Ex-Peacekeeper, this is true, but your training and your knowledge has kept Moya and the others alive. Do not dismiss your importance so easily, Officer Aeryn Sun. You are essential to the well being of us all."

Aeryn nodded. She had heard it all before, from John. She sighed and hid her face in her hands pressing her eyes shut so forcefully that it hurt.

You can be much more. Wasn't that what got me into this mess the first place? she thought. Now she was aboard Moya, a member of that ragtag crew, and an Ex Peacekeeper.

Oh yes, I can be so much more, she thought bitterly.

"Officer Sun, Moya and I think that the problem does not lie in you being aboard this ship. You were born to live on a leviathan..." Pilot began and watched Aeryn looking at him. "Whatever it is that is hurting you and keeping you from your rightful sleep, you should solve it. You are free now, just like Moya and ... myself. You should seek what you want and not hide behind your Peacekeeper upbringing."

Aeryn wanted to answer with a snide remark, but something stopped her. Pilot had never given such an insightful remark before, perhaps Moya influenced him or perhaps it was the fact that her DNA was still contaminated with Pilot's, but there was a bond between them and he spoke the truth.

"Sometime, perhaps even soon he will get a chance to go home," Aeryn said slowly, suddenly seeming to skirt the topic, as she eyed Pilot. It was not in her nature to discuss such personal, and seemingly inconsequential things as feelings, but she had not arrived at any solutions on her own and valued Pilot's insight. "If I open up, I will be left alone. I don't think I am capable of coping with that."

Pilot closed his eyes for a microt and nodded. There it was - the problem, he thought.

"Did he not try to take you to his home planet when you opened up that wormhole by chance?" Pilot said slowly.

"He also got me right into a fight with several bounty-hunters and got me blinded, Pilot. Do you think that's very considerate?"

"The question at hand, Aeryn, is do you wish to stay with him? Here on Moya or when he leaves? It is not a question of his consideration." Pilot replied smoothly, too smoothly for Aeryn's liking.

Aeryn regarded Pilot in amazement, then she swallowed hard.

"What ... do you mean ... staying with him?"

"You are a Sebacean, Officer Sun. I am aware that the Sebacean bloodlines have to be kept absolutely pure, and with the small amount of suitable males on board this ship and the possibility never to meet another Sebacean male again, I assume Commander Crichton is the safest bet to support and continue a relationship ..."

The Sebacean in question stood up hurriedly. She had thought about it many times in the past weekens. Every time she closed her eyes she had thought about how it would be with ... John.

No, she thought. "No!" she said more purposefully.

Pilot watched her stern back as she walked out of his chamber.

If his species had been prone to emotional entanglement, he would have sighed. But without he just closed his eyes for a few microts and turned towards the controls again.

"Sebaceans and humans ... both so difficult and for so many different reasons," he commented, but only Moya's humming answered him.

Aeryn was not angry ... well not with Pilot anyway. Ever since Namtar had fiddled around with her and Pilot's DNA, she had a deeper understanding for Pilot and whatever he did she never would be angry with him, annoyed yes, but not angry.

She was so deeply immersed in her own thoughts that she almost did not notice Crichton coming down the corridor. When they came up face to face, she saw that he not had had much sleep either. His eyes were shadowed and he looked unwell.

"Hey..." he said, in a way that clearly told her he didn't want to talk.

Very well, she thought as she was in no mood either.

"Hey," she said curtly and squeezed herself between the wall and John to pass him. They touched, and for a microt both of them looked at each other. There was so much hurt, so much confusion in both their eyes that they did not notice for how long they stood there.

"Aeryn..." he whispered and for a moment it looked as if he wanted to reach out his hand and touch her but his hand fell again to his side.

"So you can't sleep either, huh?" he said by way of masking his own feelings.

God, I feel like hell, he thought. Watching her, taking in every curve of her patriarchal face, he felt this longing again, the urge to belong. And he wanted to belong, he wanted to belong to Aeryn just like for her to belong to him.

"This is ridiculous!" He exclaimed suddenly and took a step backward, shaking his head. "We are grown up humans .. errr, and Sebaceans, but we're acting like children!"

Aeryn quirked an eyebrow at him. She was still confused by his sudden moodswings, one microt he was introspective, the next he burst either into energy or was frelling irritating, or often both.

"What do you mean, Crichton?" Aeryn asked, trying to retain her composure.

John stared her, then he shook his head.

"Don't you Crichton me, Aeryn. My name is John, JOHN! Not human, not Erpling - JOHN!" he snapped. "If you've got a problem with me, get it off your chest, Aeryn. If you don't start behaving like a conscious feeling being, I swear I'm gonna ..." he fell flat.

"What is ..your problem, John?" The Sebacean asked. "You started this ridiculous argument." Aeryn said, her voice cold and hard. "If you have a problem with me, get over it. We're here on Moya together. It is imperative that we get along ..."

John laughed suddenly. "Yeah sure, we get along," he whispered, while pressing his palms against his swollen eyes.

Man, I'm tired, he thought. Tired and randy as hell.. His bitter laugh was heartbreaking and more of a sob than an actual laugh. Why should I mope around like a dweeb? I'm over thirty and behave like a High School kid that's got the hots for the head cheerleader.

"Forget it, Aeryn! Just forget it," he suddenly said, and put more distance between them.
"I guess I'm just feeling irrational. I need to get some sleep ... sorry."

"John?" Aeryn was not too sure what to make of this outburst. Sebacean males did not act like John often did, but watching him she saw something of herself in his behaviour. Her need for nocturnal roaming of the corridors and tiers of Moya seemed to be the twin to John's own compulsion. She knew that whatever they did, wherever their destiny would lead them in the uncharted territories, their lives were irreversibly connected forever.

"I'm sorry," she heard herself say, and in that moment she really did feel sorry and compassionate. Sorry for him, for herself and all her inadequacies which obviously put him into so much pain. Her mind and her heart were shouting that she was sorry for not giving in. Except that she couldn't now, nor ever.

John watched her face, those beautiful grey eyes which were almost dark when she was angry or irritated. Now they were of a peaceful, yet troubled light gray, with slivers of blue and silver in them. He knew it was not easy for her to admit as much.

Tread lightly here, Bubba, he thought but his "Yeah Sure" was sooner spoken than thought. He could have kicked himself for saying it, especially when he saw the hurt in those beautiful eyes of hers. He put his hand on her shoulder, unconsciously rubbing his thumb against the side of her neck, stroking the beating pulse beneath the skin.

"Look, Aeryn, I'm sorry. I told you I'm not in my right mind. I ... we ... shouldn't be talking like this .. not now, maybe not ever." He shook his head and turned away from her.

What the hell am I doing here?, he thought. All I want to do is take this stubborn woman, bed her and get on with my ... no, our lives. And yet ... I feel so tired, so tired of battling and arguing with her.

"I ... think you are right ..." Aeryn spoke lightly but in the way she took his hand in hers and pulled it off her neck, he sensed she didn't understand him.

"Good night, John. Sleep well, whenever that will be," she used Zhaan's playful good night's wish but there was no sound of playfulness in there, it reminded John more of a farewell.

John watched Aeryn go. He was not able to follow her or question her about what she had just meant. He felt so damn tired and numb, that all he could do was stare after her as she walked around a bend of Moya's corridor.

Aeryn only stopped by her quarters to pick up her heavy PK flightsuit and helmet and then she made her way down to Moya's transport bay. She needed to get away, to put as much distance between herself and John until she could come to terms with the whole situation.

Once she had reached her prowler, she put on her suit and she was just about to board her ship, when Pilot's holographic face appeared on one of the monitors.

"Officer Sun, Moya thinks it is too dangerous to go out in your prowler. We have picked up some unusual solar activities ahead and I do not think it is wise to go out in such conditions..."

"Pilot, I don't think it is wise to tell me what to do or what not to do. I will take the prowler out!" As an afterthought she added more gently: "But I appreciate both yours and Moya's concern."

Pilot nodded on the viewscreen and then his image disappeared.

The prowler flew out and Aeryn banked hard to the right to overtake Moya. She wanted to see those solar activities for herself, even at the risk of facing unusually warm temperatures. Cranking up the revs of the engine, she enjoyed for the first time in weekens the feeling of absolute freedom and peace.

Soon she had put the prowler on auto-pilot and was just staring out at the space surrounding her. The small windows of the craft did not show her the full scenery of the vastness of space but the fractured view she did have calmed her troubled heart none the less.

She was so fully taken in by her thoughts that she at first did not notice the minute light blinking on her console, and when she finally noticed it was too late.

Something hit her prowler and it immediately went into a spin. Red warning lights were flashing on the boards and the cockpit was filled with smoke and the high ringing, unnerving sound of an emergency klaxon.

"Pilot, are you reading me?" Aeryn inquired over the comm but only static answered her. She did not feel panic, not overly much but with hasty movements she tried to bring the prowler under her control again - in vain. Another impact made her look outside one of the side port windows and for a moment, she thought she was caught in the Flax again, but she was still able to see the stars outside, only a quarter was blocked out. And then it hit her. She had crashed into an asteroid, and by doing so, the asteroid had disintegrated on impact into smaller debris which was now rocking her craft.

When she had managed to get her controls working again, the read outs made no real sense at first but after comparing it with what little intel she had gotten from Pilot, it all made sense - somehow. The sun ahead of her was disintegrating and she had been lucky not to hit one of those bigger chunks which still had solar activity. All around small and large asteroids drifted around her, some of them only mildly spinning while others were catapulting away at great speed. With what little manoeuvrability she had left, she managed to dodge the more dangerous ones and tried to find a way back to Moya. But her engines were still out cold, and she was getting deeper and deeper into the gravity pull of the dying sun.

John had finally managed to sleep for a couple of arns, and was drifting in the state between waking and sleeping. He had a nice dream, his subconscious had to admit, so he snuggled deeper into what passed as a cushion. He awakened by the sound of Pilot's voice.

"John, is Officer Sun with you?" he inquired, which confused John in his sleep induced state even more.
For a moment he wanted to reply in the affirmative, lingering in the dream where he had been alone with Aeryn in this very room, in this very bed. Not arguing in his dream but slowly, deliberately, making love to each other.

Then he found himself alone in bed, shaking off the last throes of his dream.

"Errr .. Pilot, no ... Aeryn is not here. Ahh ... Why would you ..." he said but was cut short by Pilot.

"It seems that Officer Sun has not yet returned from her recces with the prowler and Moya is picking up an anomalous solar disintregation less than ten thousand metras ahead with 1900 Kemps temperature. Moya is not sure if she can withhold such temperature, and we do not get any clear readings whether the prowler is out there or not ..."

John was instantly awake.

"Pilot, are you telling me, that Aeryn is out there in her prowler? With 1900 Kemps she could already be boiled like a chicken's egg in there..." Diving into a shirt he made his way to Command.

"Pilot, tell Moya to try picking up Aeryn's prowler, or her comm signal. She must be out there..."

"I'm sorry, John, but Moya is picking up some repercussions of an explosion which took place earlier. She is not sure if this was due to the solar activity or due to an exploding prowler ..."

"Then get her on it, Pilot. DO IT!" John yelled.

Zhaan who had come in meanwhile was watching John's tense back.

"What is the matter?" she inquired calmly.

John wheeled around on his heels, facing the Delvian priestess. The look in his eyes shattered the calm Zhaan had felt only microts ago. The pain and the despair was almost material in his eyes and his face.

"Aeryn?" she asked, twisting her ringed hands.

"It seems that Officer Sun took her prowler out and got caught in the solar winds of a dying sun. We have not been able to establish contact with her..." Pilot related.

"Then try again, Pilot. How much further can we go before Moya will experience problems due to the solar drift?" Zhaan was all business now. She would deal with John's pain later - either to comfort or to mourn.

"Moya says that she will experience major system failures when the temperature rises higher than 2100 Kemps ..."

"And what is the temperature right now?" She interrupted.

Pilot looked down on his displays, his image on the holoscreen blurring while doing so. "It appears ... we have just reached the 2100 Kemps mark ... I'm sorry we can only anchor here, that is all Moya can do for the moment."

John groaned and walked over to the port. The sun seemed so distant but Moya already could feel the drift of the explosions and the solar wind. The scientist in him knew it was suicide to go any further, especially in a living ship, but the man in him - the lover - wanted to go out there and rescue Aeryn.

Lover, he closed his eyes for the moment. I have never behaved like a lover towards her, he thought. A friend, yes, but never the lover, how could I when one moment - microt, he corrected himself absentmindedly - she pulls me close and the next pushes me away?

Bowing his head low he squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, I have behaved only like a blind, stubborn and selfish idiot. His head came up when he felt a hand on his shoulder and when he turned around he saw Zhaan's concerned eyes on him.

"She will be all right, John. She is a Peacekeeper, she won't give up so easily." the Delvian said and bowed her head slowly till her brow touched John's.

"She will be all right, John." Zhaan repeated. To Crichton it sounded like a mantra.

She will be all right, she will be all right ... And every time he spoke this in his mind, he knew that he could not possibly go on with this life of his if Aeryn Sun was dead. She was his radiant sun ... his home away from home.

Chapter One - Binaries | Chapter Two - Singular Connective | Chapter Three - One And One Squares Nil | Chapter Four - Triangular Exceptions | Chapter Five - Deadly Squares